I've been feeling kind of down recently which has led me to do some reflecting on what I really want to do and what is important to ME. I am in grad school because I thought it would be a smart career move, but I'm starting to think about it differently. I feel like I need to have a deep passion for interior design to be in grad school, and while I enjoy it, I don't want it to consume my life. I don't think I am one of those people who can be okay having her job be her whole life. One day when I was walking to school I started making a running list of things I'm interested in doing, trying, or changing.
I wish...
... I was a better multi-tasker.
... I had the time to explore things outside of grad school.
... I had a really good camera. I am really interested in photography, which is probably a topic better saved for its own post.
... I could experiment with cooking.
... I had time to read books for pleasure.
... I could learn a craft.
... I could have an Etsy shop for stationery. I love looking at peoples' invitations and graphic designs, and they get to work for themselves - my dream!
... I was able to travel more, even if it was just day trips to nearby places, like a winery or the pumpkin patch or something.
... I was one of those people who really embraces the seasons and decorates, cooks seasonal foods, etc.
... I was happier with where I am right now.
It's a strange feeling, because half of me is really happy and excited about our wedding, but then when it comes to grad school I am very discouraged. Planning for our wedding has exposed me to a lot of different lifestyles, occupations, and blogs, which has made me question the path that I am on. I don't know what it's going to take for me to accomplish those things that I want, but it seems like a lot of it comes down to time and money, neither of which I have right now. I know I have the desire, but without the other resources I'm just left feeling frustrated and unfulfilled.
You have alot of very good wishes that you can certainly fulfill...and I hope you'll start working on them. Your wishes represent other parts of yourself that you want to develop...and that is a very good thing!
ReplyDeleteThere is no reason to think that your work should be your whole life. You will be happier if you can balance work and the other important aspects of your life.